Why I’m not the same person I was back then

Ha! I wish I had the answer to that. I know that I have spoken about it briefly in other blogs. But it is so very important to understand that I am not the same person I was a week ago, two weeks, three weeks ago, or even four months ago or two years ago. I have committed myself to a life of growing and learning and discovering. You are never too old to learn and I learn a new thing every day.

I am not the same girl who cheated on her boyfriend. I would never do that again. And this time I mean it. I am not the same girl who thought that it would be a good idea to pack up my life into two suitcases and move half way across the world. I am not the same girl who would settle for less than I deserve, And I am certainly not the same girl who settled into the mundane and who was afraid to take risks.

So who am I then? Now? I’ll tell you. Maybe my life is not where I thought it would be, now. At this age. Maybe I am not married with two kids and a third on the way. Maybe that life was never for me. God has a plan and God will bring the right man into my life when I am ready and when he thinks that it is right. I am not afraid to try new things, new places or take risks. Taking risks is part of who I am now. I am truly living and I believe that I am living a life without regrets. I have lived more over the past five years than most people do in a lifetime. And this is why I do not regret the fact that the love of my life and I broke up years ago. If it were not for that, I may not have had half of the experiences that I have had. I may not have traveled to Italy, or swam with a dolphin or more recently, went guiding. I would have settled into a life that I did not want. Now, should he and I find ourselves together again, I would have no regrets. Because, I could say, “I was here. I lived. I loved. I was here. I did. I’ve done.” Beyonce put that right and I could have not said it better myself. Applause.

Here is how I would describe myself now:

-Strong

-Brave

-Independent

-Loving

-Divergent

-Curious

Those are words that I could not have imagined myself using years ago. I am proud and glad that they are a part of my new identity now. Nobody else defines me. Only I can define myself.

 

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